Welcome to the "light" side, Andy !

You have built a nice machine there, great work, and then you went overboard with the spindle and motors, but this way you can move them to a bigger machine anytime in the future.
Since you have put that much time and effort in, it would be a real pity to have it controlled by anything but Linuxcnc, and you would have eventually come to that conclusion on your own after a bit of use and a few "spindle went through the table" issues, i have seen plenty of those.
My advice,
-if you can afford it, get a Mesa 7i76E as it has full 5 axis and spindle control with encoder feedback.
-the spindle can also be controlled through RS485 interface is the VFD supports that with a cheap USB to RS485 adapter.
-you can control the whole machine with parallel port, but with limited inputs and outputs, that should get you a fully working machine with limits but not much spindle control.
-that BOB you have has the same issues as the parallel port, but with much lower step rate or velocity as it uses very slow optocouplers.
-Mesa 7i92 will do very nicely for everything but the spindle, although some VFD can be set to use 5V for full speed instead of 10V, and that would get you full spindle speed, that is also valid for parallel and BOB.
Some more info that might be of interest, i do have an Acer laptop that can work with a Mesa 7i92 for days without a single issue, but overall laptops are not very good for machine control due to to much power saving stuff messing the timing of the step pulses.
As a start, download the Stretch version of Linuxcnc from here:
www.linuxcnc.org/downloads/
write it to a USB stick using DD in Linux or win32imagger in Windows, set the laptop to boot from USB devices in BIOS and boot from that USB, that way you can test and get used to Linuxcnc without installing it to HDD, you can do that at any time you feel confident.
If you need more reasons to avoid mach3 and the rest, let me know, i have plenty.
And no, i am not affiliated with Mesa in any way shape or form, i just use their products a lot.